


U-N-I

by steadyasthestars



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Asshole!Liam, Coffee Shops, F/M, I always write Liam as an Asshole, I really planned on him being there, I'm Sorry, I'm sure he's nice, Like really slow, M/M, Niall's barely there, Oblivious!Harry, Slow Build Larry, Uni Stereotypes, University, closeting, pining!Harry, what is that?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-07 15:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1121627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steadyasthestars/pseuds/steadyasthestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has a crush on the incredibly hot star footie player, Louis Tomlinson, who is also very straight and has a girlfriend. Zayn has finally got the one guy that he has always wanted, but Liam isn't quite ready to come out.</p><p>or<br/>The incredibly indulgent Uni fic with a the ultimate Zarry Brotp and a very shy harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from The Ed Sheeran song U-N-I. I really hope you like it!

“Hey, Hazza!” Zayn said as he sat down next to me. I quickly discarded my book.

“Zaynie!” I yelled and wrapped my arms around his neck in a hug. I pulled back and began rifling through my backpack. “Look, I've got something for you!”

I pulled the flower crown from my bag. I placed it on his head. He looked up at it.

“Tada!” I trilled. He raised both of his arms and took off the crown. He gingerly put it back on my head.

“That's more of your thing Haz.” I shrugged my shoulders and stared across the yard in front of me where a couple of guys were playing footie. Louis Tomlinson stood with his hands on his hips in the middle of the yard. He called for the ball.

“Haz, you're smitten.” Zayn drawled out. I looked over at him and rolled my eyes.

“No, I'm not. And don't pretend you aren't staring at Liam Payne.” I replied.

“There's a difference. I'm not stalking him while trying to hide behind my school books. I'm actually dating Liam.” Zayn said.

“Yeah, when no one is looking.” I muttered at him. He gave me a hard look and I instantly frowned.

“Sorry, Zayn.” I mumbled, feeling guilty. “I know you hate that.”

He looked away and shrugged and looked off into the distance fixing his glasses. “'salright.”

“Incoming!” Someone screamed as a ball came flying my way. It hit me in the chest and I fell backwards. The ball then proceeded to knock over my coffee.

“Haz!” Zayn called out. He immediately stood up, maybe to fight whoever hit me. I grabbed his calf.

“I'm fine.” I wheezed out. “I totally deserved that for my comment earlier.”

“Are you okay?” His voice was so smooth. It was such a strange pitch, high yet low at the same time. A Doncaster accent was prominent, but it was perfect. It took me a second to speak and Zayn had to elbow me in the side.

“Y-yeah. I'm fine.” I stuttered out and Zayn chuckled.

“Sorry about the ball. My mate, Niall, has shit aim.” Louis' smiled at me. Niall, who was walking up behind him with Liam, protested.

“'Ey! I heard that!”

“Hey Zayn.” Louis acknowledged Zayn. Although they knew each other from a theater class, I had never gotten the nerve up to actually talk to him.

“I don't actually think I know your name. I'm Louis. And you are?” He stuck his hand out.

“Yeah, Louis. I-uh, I kn- I um, I'm Harry.” I finally grabbed his hands.

“Wow, that ball hit you hard, huh.” He laughed and I chuckled along. He pulled me to my feet after a second of me still holding his hand. I guess that's what he thought I wanted. As I stood I tripped over the now emptied cup. I stumbled forward knocking chests with Louis as Liam and Zayn grabbed my arm.

“Easy there!” He said with an easy smile. I could feel my face turning red as I realized he was still holding my hand. He let go when I was steadied and looked down at the coffee cup on the ground.

“Oh, You spilled your coffee.” His brow wrinkled with concern.

“Oh, yeah. I- I guess.” I mumbled.

“I'll buy you another.” He said decidedly.

“Oh, no, you really don't have to. It's completely fine.” I looked down.

“No, Haz. That's so nice of him. You should accept.” Zayn goaded me and I looked at him and squinted my eyes in a warning. I heard Liam chuckle beside me.

“Come on, Haz!” Louis pleaded using Zayn's nickname for me, and there was no way that I could deny him.

“Fine.” I gave in and watched his face light up in a smile that invaded his entire face. His eyes crinkled at the corners and it was a picture of perfection.

“Come on.” He said and I followed him shooting glances back at the other boys. Niall ran back to the game of footie and I watched as Zayn and Liam had an awkward stare down. He gave Zayn a small smile and they began to walk their opposite ways. I sighed at them, They were so dumb.

“Is there a problem, Harry?” He asked.

“Um, no. I'm fine.” I replied. We got to a small coffee shop on campus that was dark and played chill music that I could imagine Zayn lighting up to.

“So, what do you want Harry?” He asked and I shrugged. Everything in my body screamed at me to say 'you!'

“A white mocha, I guess.” I replied. He ordered and we brought our cups to our seat. He took a sip and frowned slightly.

“You don't like it?” I asked concerned. I would pick the coffee shop that he hated, that is so me.

“No, it's fine. I'm just a tea purist. I make some of the best tea you will ever have the privilege of drinking.” He said.

“Well, maybe I will just take you up on that offer.” I said in a flirting tone, and dear God, I was shameless.

“Anytime.” He replied. “So, Harry, what year are you?”

“Uh, Freshman” I answered a bit sheepishly knowing that Louis was a junior.

“Oh, cool. Do you know what you want to major in?” He asked.

“Yeah, Law, but lately psychology has been looking really tempting.”

“Law? Why? Pardon me, but you don't exactly look like the lawyer type.” He leaned forward and slightly tapped the flower crown that was on my head. My cheeks flushed and I quickly pulled it off. How the hell did I forget that it was there?

“I didn't mean to offend you mate. I think that the flowers were very... pretty, no wait, that didn't sound right, nice. They looked good on you.” If my cheeks got any brighter, he didn't mention it.

“I- uh, I picked law because I think that everyone should have equal rights. I want to change this world into something better. I don't know any other way to do it.” I ran my my finger through the ring my coffee left on the table.

“You're a bit of a hippie.” He said and I looked up at him.” I like that.”

His smile was beautiful and his teeth were perfect little squares, almost like Chiclets. His lips were thin and seemed so soft.

“Uh- Wh- what about you. What do you want to do?” I asked.

“Actor, or footie player. If I'm not on a stage or on the pitch, I don't want to be anywhere else.” He said.

“But I think that maybe I want to be an actor more. Everyone expects me to be a footie player, but I like to act a lot.”He answered.

“Wow, tha-”

“Louuuuuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssss!!” I heard a girl screech. I winced.

“El, babe.” Louis stood just as a pretty brunette walked up and wrapped her arms around his neck. She planted a kiss on his lips and I turned away.

“Harry, man, sorry. This is my girlfriend, Eleanor.” She reached her perfectly manicured hand out to me. Her nails were painted a deep cobalt that matched her scarf that hung meticulously around her slender shoulders over a white shirt. She wore a short denim skirt that showed off her long legs. Her legs were accentuated by a pair of cobalt heels that made her Louis' height.

I politely shook her hand as she smiled at me.

“El, this is Harry.”

“Hi, Harry.” She said brightly and I replied with my best smile, even though I felt like puking.

“Lou, I've been looking for you everywhere. We had a lunch date, silly. And here I find you having our lunch date with someone else! A boy nonetheless! Scandalous!” she joked and I blushed. The idea of a lunch date with Louis made me wish it were true.

“Haha.” I said awkwardly. “Well, I should go. Class and all. Thanks for the coffee.” I quickly grabbing my things and tripped over the chair twice, almost spilling what remained of my coffee. I gave them a small wave and they repressed their giggles.

“Well, I'll see you later, Haz.” Louis said and I turned back and smiled at him before turning the corner and promptly hiding in the bathroom.


	2. Did you like the view?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very Ziam- Centric...

“Wait, Wait! Tell me what you said again?” Zayn said not even trying to suppress his laugh.

“'Maybe I'll just take you up on that offer.” I replied staring down hard at the table in our flat.

“And- and then- and then Eleanor showed up and began making out with him and said you two were on a lunch date, and -”

“and then I tripped over the table and hid in the bathroom. Yes Zayn.” I said.

“Mate, that is fucking hilarious!” He roared.

“Fuck you, man.” I stood and pushed the chair away. I began to stomp away toward my bedroom.

“Haz, come back. I was just joking.”

“You know Zayn, I don't see how you can make fun of me when you are wearing heels!” I replied as I leaned against the fridge.

“They're for the musical, prick. I need to get used to walking in them.” He replied as there was a knock on the door. “Oooh! That's Liam. Go get the door.”

“Why don't you do it?” I asked as I pushed myself off of the fridge knowing I would be getting the door no matter what.

“I want to surprise him. Please Hazza?” He batted his ridiculously long eyelashes at me and I rolled my eyes.

“Fine, but you owe me!” I said pointing at him.

“I just gave you advice on your love life.” He said.

“No you didn't! You just laughed at me. No advice was given.” I countered.

“Whatever, just get the door!” He hissed at me.

“Wow, someone gets themselves a pair of high heels and suddenly they are a diva!” I called back as I walked toward the door.

“Hi, Liam” I said as I opened the door.

“Hey, Harry. I thought I heard Zayn, but...” He stepped in before me and looked around the room.

“He said he had a surprise for you and ran back into his room.” I told him.

“Oh, I guess I can go and see-”

“Stay in there, Liam!” Zayn yelled back.

“Okay, babe!” He yelled back and sat on the couch. I sat in an armchair across from him, and clasped my hands in my lap. The room was awkwardly quiet.

“So, uh, how's Rugby going?” I asked after a moment.

“It's fine. Um, We've got a lot of cool players this year. It's a solid team.”

“Cool, cool.” I nodded and looked down at my thumbs. I let out a loud noisy breath.

“Harry! Come here!” Zayn yelled. I gave Liam a small smile and held up my finger.

“One sec.” I breathed and headed to the hall.

“Oh my- What are you-” Zayn wrapped his hand over my mouth before I could finish.

“Shut up. Here.” He shoved some papers into my hands. “Read this out loud.” He pushed me back into the living room.

“God this is so stupid.” I said halfway under my breath. “Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas day, whose charity is only matched by talent I must say, A new member of the Alphabet City Avant Garde, Angel Dumott Sch-sca Scho- Scha”

“Schunard!” Zayn yelled at me.

“Whatever!” I yelled back.

“Today 4 U, Tomorrow 4 Me!” Zayn sang out as he popped from behind the wall with his hands above his head. He was in full dress. A candy cane striped dress and a wig. He rested his hands on his hips.

“Wow!” Liam said with a laugh and a wolf whistle. Zayn sashayed toward him doing spins and wiggling his hips. He plopped himself down on Liam's lap.

“What do you think, babe?” He asked as he nuzzled Liam's nose. I slowly stood up and tried to edge out of the room. Too much happy couple snuggle time.

“I think you look amazing. What's it for?”

“Seriously, Liam?” Zayn asked.

“My play. _RENT_? I've only been talking about it for like a month.”

“Oh! Right. You're a girl?” He asked.

“No, I'm a guy, dressed as one.”

“Well, all the guys better keep their eyes off of you, or I'm gonna have to kick some ass.” Liam said as he rested his hands on Zayn's waist. He kissed Zayn on the temple.

“Are you gonna kick my costar's ass? I've gotta kiss him.” Zayn teased.

“Wait, you have to kiss another guy?” Liam asked.

“Yes. It's in the scri-”

“No.” Liam stated cutting him off. I stopped at the doorway and stared at Liam incredulously. You know, happy couple snuggle time never seemed to last long for Liam and Zayn.

“Excuse me? What do you mean 'no'?” Zayn questioned while standing from Liam's lap.

“I mean, no. There is no way that you are gonna be kissing some guy.” Liam stood as well.

“It's called acting Liam. It doesn't mean anything.”

“I don't care what it's called. I don't want you to kiss him.” Liam crossed his arms as he stared down at Zayn, but Zayn just crossed his right back and looked up at him defiantly.

“So, wait, let me get this straight. You won't kiss me in public, and now no one else can, either. Is that right?”

“Zayn-” Liam began.

“No Liam! That's bullshit.”Zayn took off his wig and threw it at him. As he turned to walk away Liam grabbed his wrist and yanked him back so he was facing him again.

“Let me go!” Zayn yelled at him trying to pull himself free.

“Guys. Just calm down.” I cautioned as I took a couple of steps forward.

“You are such a fucking coward! Why are you always so fucking afraid?!” Zayn yelled in his face. Liam pushed Zayn away and he landed on his butt, his back smacking into the coffee table. Zayn let out a small cry.

“Whoa!” I yelled and jumped forward. I wasn't sure of what I was going to do, but I knew I had to do something.

“Oh my God, babe.” Liam reached his hand out to Zayn. His eyes were wide like he couldn't believe what he had just done. No one else could, either.

“Don't fucking touch me!” Zayn yelled as he swatted his hands away.

“Babe, I'm so sorry.” Zayn pushed him away and ran to his room. Liam followed spewing apologies until the door was slammed in his face.

“Zayn, open the door!” He said as he beat on it.

“No!” He shouted back.

“Dammit! Babe, I'm so sorry. I'm such a fucking idiot!” Liam hit his fist against the door. His eyes were red and his breath was shaky.

“Just go away!” Zayn yelled back and Liam lightly knocked his head against the door as he stared down at his feet.

“Baby, please. Please don't. I'm sorry!”Liam cried out.

“M-maybe you should l-leave.” I said to Liam.

“No. I c-can't. I won't! I won't leave him. I'm so sorry.” His voice was that of a desperate man. Liam tried again, and again, and again. He slid down the door with his knees against his chest. and sat outside of Zayn's door. They went back and forth like that for about two hours, with Liam pleading and Zayn refusing. I finally headed off to bed and left Liam sitting there.

At about four in the morning I was awoken by the sound of Zayn's door opening and shutting. There was a sound of mumbled speaking accompanied by intermingled silence. Soon I heard a couple of soft thuds and heavy breathing. I guess they were making up. It was always like that. They were so passionate and they fought a ton. It was ridiculous to me.

 

The next day, Zayn's wig still lied across the couch and the table was slightly crooked. Reminders of the night before.

“Hey, Haz.” Zayn said from the kitchen table.

“Morning Zaynie.”

“Sleep well?” He asked as he nursed a cuppa in his hand.

“Yeah. How about you?” I asked the question completely loaded as I eyed the love bite that was peeking out from under his collar.

“Yeah, Liam stayed the night. He's still sleeping.” He said going for nonchalance as he lit up a cigarette. He took a drag.

“So, you forgave him?” I assumed. He heaved a big sigh smoke pouring from his nose and mouth.

“Yeah. I mean, I was being a bit dramatic last night. It's not like he actually hit me.” He half laughed and flicked the ashes from the stick.

“And if he does?” I asked as I leaned against the counter facing him.

“Don't be silly, Harry. That will never happen.”

“But if it does?” I said

“It won't” He stated. He stubbed out the cigarette and got up. He dumped his coffee in the sink and stood next to me. He leaned his head on my shoulder.

“Sorry Zayn. I just worry about you. You're like a brother to me.”

“I'm fine Haz. I can take care of myself. Plus I love Liam. And he loves me. He is just so...ugh! I can't explain it. He's just so afraid of his dad and what he'll think about him being gay.” Zayn said. I nodded and he lifted his head.

“Good Morning, Babe.” Liam said as he walked into the kitchen shirtless scratching his naked chest. He padded over to Zayn and caught his lips. He pulled away and Zayn gave him a soft smile.

“There's coffee in the pot and water in the kettle if you want tea.” Zayn told him.

“Thanks, babe.” He wrapped his arms around Zayn and kissed him on the forehead. I pushed away from the counter and went to grab my books to head to class.

 

I chained my bike to the rack and headed into the coffee shop. I pulled my books out and put my earphones in. I pulled open my backpack and pulled out my book. I began reading my psych book. About ten pages in someone grabbed my phone and I jerked my head up.

“Sympathy for the Devil? Rolling Stones, nice. Has anyone ever told you that you kinda look like a young Mick Jagger?”

“Oh God, Louis you scared me.” I breathed out as I put a hand on my chest over my heart.

“Sorry, Harry. Ooh, Jimi Hendrix, too. You are a little hippie aren't ya?” He asked as he scrolled through my music. He hopped onto the stool and if it weren't Louis Tomlinson, I would have laughed. A blush settled on my cheeks and I took a deep breath.

“Yeah, I guess I am. And what do I owe the honor of seeing your smiling face this morning?” I asked and he laughed.

“Wow, you've come a long way from the boy who was spilling coffee and tripping over chairs.” He replied and I winced. “Just kidding. I was just picking up some coffee for my girlfriend. She prefers Starbucks, but she'll have to settle for this as she did when it came to me.” He joked.

“Settling for you? I couldn't imagine it!” I said and I meant it. How was nabbing Louis Tomlinson settling?

“I know. Sigh. Being perfect is hard.” He pushed his fringe to the side in a dramatic way that I found completely endearing. “Alas, I have to get going, but I'll see you around.”

He hopped up from the chair.

“Oh, Harry, Are you coming to see _RENT?”_ He asked and I nodded my head.

“Yeah, my friend, Zayn is in it. Which you already know because you are also in it.” I closed my eyes tightly at my idiotic response and internally cursed myself.

“Right,” He laughed. “Well, I can't wait to see you there! It's going to be awesome. See ya, Harry.” He began to walk away before he called out.

“You better be looking at my butt!” I laughed aloud.

“Of course I am!” He laughed as he left the place. The door slammed shut with a tinkering that had nothing on Louis' laugh. My phone chimed and I answered it to see it was a message from Louis.

-Was it a good view?- The text read.

-The best- I replied with a smile.


	3. Harry not Henry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another installment! Sorry about the awful title names, just, yeah...

I stood in the courtyard with Zayn as Perrie ran up.

“Zed!” She said as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. He winced and pulled away.

“Careful, Pez.” He said with a sharp breath. Her entire demeanor changed.

“What happened?” She asked looking him over. “Did Liam do this?”

“Nothing happened, Perrie. It was just an accident.” Zayn said trying to shoo her. She turned on me and crossed her arms.

“Harry, tell me what happened.” She demanded and I took a deep breath. I hated when this happened to me. I was a shit liar and I hated being stuck in the middle as I often was.

“Um, Mommy and Daddy were fighting again.” I answered trying to make it sound like a joke, but Perrie was not buying it.

“Harry!” Zayn said and I shrugged softly. I hoped I didn't make him mad.

“What did he do? I'm going to fucking kill him! I swear Zayn if he so much as looks at you, I'm going to rip his intestines out and shove them right up his ass!” Perrie went off and I winced at the imagery.

“Pez, please calm down. Liam and I got into an argument last night and I fell into the table. It is no big deal, I promise.”

“No, it is a big deal, no one is allowed to hurt you, Zaynie.”

“Jeez, Pez- I'm fine. I'm a big boy, I can handle myself and Liam.” He said and Perrie sighed. I looked down at my hands and tried to think of something to change the subject. I looked at her. She was wearing a long patterned skirt and a half-shirt that said 'make love not war'.

“Cute outfit, Perrie.” I said and she looked at me like it was obvious what I was trying to do.

“Thank you, Haz. You are so sweet.” She kissed me on the cheek.

“Aww, Harold. You and Perrie?” I heard from behind me. I turned and saw Louis.

“No way. Not my type.” Perrie laughed and I crossed my arms and tried to look pissed.

“And why not?” Louis asked.

“Just- uh- trust me on this one.” She said. Louis wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

“Well I think this one is a natural charmer, look at those dimples.” Louis poked a finger into my face and I had to smile. I began to blush. “Anyone would be lucky to date him!”

“Well, if you feel that way, why don't you date him Lou?” Perrie teased and I turned beet red.

“Maybe I will.” He said indignantly.

“And what will Eleanor think about this?” Perrie asked.

“Shh, don't bring her up! This is about me and Harry. She has nothing to do with our star-crossed love.” He said and held me close. Perrie snorted and he let go of me.

“But, seriously Pez. I'm worried for you. If you don't find someone, you will end up alone with seventeen cats.” Louis said.

“Doesn't sound so bad. The cats, I mean. I love cats. They're great.” I butted in without really thinking. They all looked at me. “Sorry, sorry for that.”

I looked down and Louis resumed talking.

“Maybe we could hook you up with Zayn.” Louis said and Zayn looked up from his phone.

“Please, Zayn's gayer than anal sex.” Perrie said and rolled her eyes. I promptly choked on my spit.

“Ha Ha! Very funny Pez. You are such a wonderful lady. It's a wonder that you are single.” He rolled his eyes and pushed up his glasses. “Well this has been lovely, but now I'm off to talk to someone who's I.Q. Is higher than grade 5.”

“I doubt it. In grade 5 I knew not to hit people I 'loved'” Perrie smarted.

“Perrie!” I said and Zayn gave her a death glare.

“Wait? Did someone hit you?” Louis asked.

“No, Perrie is just being her normal bitchy self. Right Pez?” He asked. She huffed before answering.

“I was talking about hitting him myself. Homicide isn't that bad of a crime is it?” She joked.

“Well, see you guys later.” Zayn said and walked away.

“Don't be late for rehearsal tonight!” Louis waved at Zayn. I sighed, glad that the tense moment had passed. A blonde guy and a dark haired girl with giant earrings and a pink shirt with Greek letters printed on the front and a tie in the side that showed off her tanned side walked up. The boy was wearing a pair of Khaki shorts and a polo shirt.

“Hey, Niall, Cher. ” Louis acknowledged them. It amazed me because he seemed to know everyone. “This is Harry, and you already know Perrie.”

“Hey, guys.” Niall said. “We were thinking of throwing a party this weekend, I know it's opening weekend and everything, but I was wondering if you wanted to swing by. You could even bring your new friends.”

“Sounds awesome!” Louis said.

“Alright, see you around. We have to go invite the rest of the campus!” Cher joked and grabbed Niall's hand. She pulled them toward a group of girls playing frisbee.

“Louis!” Eleanor called as she ran up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and his rested on her waist. Perrie waved at a couple of girls and gave me a small smile before running off to join to them. She hugged the girls and bumped a couple of their hips. They laughed before heading toward the dance building. I stood there awkwardly as Eleanor kissed Louis. I rocked on my heels and clapped my hands together. I took a deep breath and let it out noisily.

“I uh- I should go.” I said and began to walk away. No one answered for a moment.

“Oh, okay then. But we should get together sometime.” He said with a smile as he broke away from Eleanor.

“Oh, Henry, that was so rude of me!” Eleanor said.

“No, no you are fi-” I began.

“Babe, his name is Harry, not Henry.” Louis corrected her.

“Oh, sorry, I can be such a ditz sometimes.” she apologized as she hung off of Louis. I took a deep breath.

“No problem, but I really should go. It was good seeing you again, Eleanor. Bye, Louis.” I said as I began to walk away. I shoved my hands deep in my pockets before I headed toward my bike.

 

“I'd love to stay, but I have a coffee date to get to.” I heard Zayn say as I turned the corner.

“With who?” Liam asked.

“With my costar. Maz.” Zayn said.

“Oh, the guy you get to kiss.” Liam said and rolled his eyes.

“Please don't so this again. It's nothing. What are you afraid of?” Zayn asked.

“I don't want to lose you, Zayn.” Liam said and Zayn snorted.

“You're not going to lose me, Liam. Stop being so fucking dramatic” Zayn said. He began to walk away and Liam grabbed his wrist. Zayn yelped and pushed Liam away.

“Liam! I'm not your fucking ragdoll! Just because you are so damn insecure, it doesn't mean that you get to beat me up! The next time you leave a bruise on me, it'll be the last time you fucking touch me!” Zayn yelled. He turned and walked away. Liam turned and punched a no parking sign.

“Dammit!” He yelled and I jumped backwards, tripping on the curb and knocking into a rubbish bin.

“Oh, Liam, I'm so sorry. I didn't know- you two- Are you okay?” I asked taking a few steps close to him.

“I don't want to talk.” Liam said and I walked up and stood next to him. He was leaning on his arms against the wall with his head down. I put my hand on his back.

“Don't fucking touch me! Can't you see that no one wants you here?!” He yelled and I backed up.

“Right. Sorry.” I said as my voice broke. I grabbed my bike and hopped on it with tears in my eyes. I peddled toward me and Zayn's apartment. I didn't make it. I ended up in a park. I laid down between two trees and stared up toward to sky. It was getting cloudy and chillier. I laid by myself for a couple hours. I wrapped my arms tightly around myself and wiped at the tears that had collected by my eyes. Before I knew it, I had drifted off. I felt a foot nudge me and I jerked awake. I looked around dazed. My eyes adjusted and I realized that it had gotten dark. I looked for what had awaken me. It was Zayn's foot.

“You didn't come home. I texted you.” Zayn muttered and he sat next to me. I put my legs up to my chest and I wrapped my arms around my legs.

“Sorry, I uh- fell asleep.” I said clearing my throat.

“I can see that.” Zayn said with a small laugh that didn't make it far past his throat.

“Ar- Are you okay?” I asked him after a moment of silence.

“I don't know man. Liam is so- Maybe I should quit.” He whispered.

“What do you mean?” I asked and he took a deep breath.

“He- I don't know if it's worth it. I love him, Haz. I really do.” His voice broke and I wrapped my arm around him. He leaned his head against my shoulder.

“He bruised my wrist. It's not the first time. He said he wouldn't do it again. But he did. I don't know what to do anymore. He's too afraid to be with me. Why am I not enough for him?” Zayn asked.

“It's not you, Za-” I began.

“It has to be. I just. I want things to be different.” Zayn whispered to the stars.

“I don't need him. I swear I don't.” Zayn said. There was another moment of silence before he whispered, “But I do. So much.”

I just held him, unsure on what to do next.

 

When we got back home it was one in the morning. Zayn and I had been sitting for about two hours. I walked up to my room and collapsed in my bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, You guys can follow me on tumblr. http://wecanmakestars.tumblr.com/ or not. live your life...


	4. Viva La Vie Boheme!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that there was such a wait! I know that many people already figured it out, but the musical that they are doing is Rent by Jonathan Larson. It is a great musical, I love it. The song in this is La Vie Boheme, I didn't use all of the lyrics because I was too lazy. Sorry, but, it still hopefully gets the point across.

On Thursday, I walked into our empty apartment. There was a note on the TV screen. Typical Zayn. Not the fridge, but the TV. I pulled it from the screen.

 

_I'll be in late from rehearsals. Don't wait up, love Z xx_

 

I sat on the couch and pulled out my journal. I stuck the note to the inside front cover. I thought about writing something, anything. A poem, a song, story; Hell, I even thought about writing about my day, but to no avail. I sighed and tucked my journal into the slot of the couch cushions. I pulled out my poly sci book and began reading up on parliament for the 40th time since I've started school.

At about 10:30 I decided that I was done with studying. So I got up and headed into the kitchen. I figured I could make Zayn a sandwich and take it to him. He was probably hungry. I made him a turkey and cheese sandwich and put it, along with a bag of crisps and a cup of applesauce into a paper bag. I drew a smiley face on the front and headed out. I decided to walk seeing as Zayn had his car and he could just take me back home. I arrived to the theater at about 11. As I walked through the door, the cast was jumping from the stage and heading toward the doors, chattering.

“Zayn! Zayn!” I called out. Zayn turned toward me still wearing his shoulder length wig.

“Oh, Haz! Why are you here?” He asked as he walked over to me, dodging people from the crowd.

“I thought you might be hungry. I brought you a snack.” I said holding up the paper sack. He smiled at me and patted my cheek.

“Haz! That's so sweet, but the cast was heading out to get something to eat.” Zayn said apologetically.

“N-no Problem. I'll just head back home then. Have fun.” I said heading toward the door.

“Wait! Haz! How 'bout you come with us?” He asked.

“I thought it was just the cast?” I said and he smiled.

“Just come, please?” He asked and I nodded.

He pushed me to his car and we pulled up to a small restaurant with the rest of his cast. They neglected to change, so they looked like a proper bunch of freaks.

“Thirsty Thursday!!!” Louis yelled as he walked into the restaurant. “Hey, Harry!”

He said and slumped down into the chair beside me. Eleanor sat on the other side. The waiter brought out menus for the table.

“Ew! That looks like a dead rat.” Eleanor said pointing at the menu.

“Who died?” Zayn asked and someone answered

“Our Akita.” Then the whole cast yelled

“Evita!” I jumped in my seat.

“You make fun, yet I'm the one, attempting to do some good or do you really want a neighborhood  
Where people piss on your stoop every night? Bohemia, Bohemia's a fallacy in your head. This is Calcutta Bohemia is dead!” Akita guy sang and I furrowed my brow. Zayn shot me a smile.

“Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes.” Louis stood and sang. Zayn and a few other guys stood and hung their heads. They crossed their hands and began to chant something. 

“Here she lies, no one knew her worth, the late great daughter of Mother Earth. On this night when we celebrate the birth.” Zayn made a gesture at Louis and he grabbed me under my armpit. He lifted me from the chair and hugged me from behind and rocked me as he began singing,

“In that little town of Bethlehem, We raise our glass, You bet your ass” He smacked my bum for emphasis and I yelped. “Too! La Vie Boheme!” He sang and the rest of the cast began to chant “La Vie Boheme.”

Louis began to circle the table riling the group up as he continued. Soon Eleanor was up flirting with some chick and the crowd screamed “Wine and Beer!”

Zayn and Perrie jumped on the table and began to sing and dance. They shook and spun at the same time.

“To hand crafted beers made in local breweries. To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese. To leather, to dildos to curry vindaloo. To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou” Eleanor began to sing along and Louis jumped on the table as Zayn and Perrie jumped off.

“To mucho masturbation!” He pouted and squirted mayonnaise, from his crotch at me, which I dodged. I began to blush. They went on singing and I tried to dodge all of their attempts to grope me. Somehow they had pulled me onto the table and I ended up being ground up between some guy that was supposed to be with Perrie and Louis. The song ended and they fell back into their chairs. I clapped and I felt as if my face would break from smiling so much. 

“Oh, my god! That was amazing!” I said and Zayn laughed and ruffled my hair.

“You were pretty good, Haz. Aside from having two left feet.” Zayn said and Louis wrapped me under his arm.

“I say he was about as good as El. Maybe better.” He joked, looking down at me. My face was lit and I hope he thought it was from the exertion of dancing on a table.

“Louis!” She said and smacked him on the arm. He laughed and let me go. He hugged Eleanor and kissed her. The cast promptly threw french fries at him.

 

For the rest of the night, I felt wired. As everyone began to wander out, I tried to stay as long as I could, lingering with anyone who seemed to have the energy to talk. When Zayn pulled me from the restaurant at somewhere near 1:30. The entire way home I chattered to him and once we were in the flat, I followed him to the bathroom continuing to talk. As he went to his bedroom I followed him and he put a hand on my chest.

“Haz, I'm glad you had fun, but I am tired and I have class early tomorrow. Please shut up, and go to bed.” He said.

“Right. Totally. See you in the morning.” I said and gave him a small wave. I fell into my bed and grabbed my journal. I wrote until about 4. I was so energized. I finally passed out with a smile on my face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that wasn't too confusing! Let me know what you think though!


	5. We Pulled off Rent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry if the musical part is kind of confusing. You don't have to watch rent, it's not that important, just know that Angel dies and it's a musical about misfits! If you have any questions, just let me know!

The next morning I woke up and made myself a bowl of cereal. Zayn was already gone for his morning class, so I was alone for the time being. I ate and hummed along with my headphones. I had downloaded the song that we- they sang last night and I was working on learning the lyrics. It had sounded better last night, but maybe I was just being a little biased.

“Is anyone in the mainstream?” I sang as I grabbed my backpack. I locked the door and hopped on my bike. I sped through the streets and rode onto campus almost knocking into Liam.

“Sorry!” I mumbled, stepping off of my bike and pulling the headphones out of my ears.

“Whatever.” He said and started walking.

“Have you seen Zayn?” I asked as I rolled my headphones into a small, neat bundle.

“No.” He replied and tried to walk off.

“Oh. Are you going to the play?” I asked scratching the back of my head.

“Why would I? Zayn doesn't want to see me. He hates me. And I understand why.” He swallowed and turned around. I grabbed his arm.

“Oh, Come off it, Liam!” I yelled and he flinched back.

“Har-”

“Zayn was right, ya' know. You are such a coward! And yet he still loves you. You guys can be so thick!” I laughed incredulously.

“Whatever, Harry-” Liam began and I cut him off again.

“No matter what happened between the two of you, Zayn still loves you. And he wants you to be there whether he says it or not. And if you aren't there, Payne...” I trailed off. “You'll regret the day you were born.

“Wow. Okay. Fine, I'll be there. For Zayn.” He said and I nodded.

“Yeah, you'd better!” I said and he chuckled. He ruffled my hair and walked toward his next class.

He turned back around toward me.

“Thanks, Harry.” He kept walking and I stood there, utterly confused.

 

I stood in the line outside of the theater. I had my ticket since they went on sale, but I wanted to scope things out and see how things were going. Groups of people walked in, holding hands with their partners or leaning on each other. I finally saw Liam in line by himself. I ran up beside him as he got his ticket.

“Ooh, Row D, seat 14, right next to me! Cosmic, Right.” I asked.

“Yeah, Cosmic.” I walked with Liam into the theater. We found our seats after five minutes of awkward silence the lights went down and someone began speaking about cell phones. The curtains were drawn and music began to swell. Louis walked on stage to where some guy with greasy hair was already sitting, messing around with a guitar.

“We begin on Christmas Eve with me, Mark, and my roommate, Roger. We live in an industrial loft on the corner of 11th street and Avenue B, the top floor of what was once a music publishing factory. Old rock 'n' roll posters hang on the walls. They have Roger's picture advertising gigs at CBGB's and the Pyramid Club. We have an illegal wood burning stove; its exhaust pipe crawls up to a skylight. All of our electrical appliances are plugged into one thick extension cord which snakes its way out a window. Outside, a small tent city has sprung up in the lot next to our building. Inside, we are freezing because we have no heat.”

They began to sing (Tune-up) and soon the show was well underway.

“You okay, honey?” Zayn asked as he walked onstage and bent down to the black guy, who got mugged. Liam nudged me and I giggled.

Louis was back onstage again with 'Roger'. 'Collins walked in and began introducing someone. It sounded really familiar.

“Today 4 u! Tomorrow 4 Me!” Zayn said. And he looked way better than at home. Liam cheered loudly and I ducked my head and laughed.

Somber music began to play and people began to introduce themselves.

“There's only us, There's only this.” They sang and Louis bumbled in, camera rolling. Soon lights came up on a platform and Perrie began to sing,

“What's the time? Well it's gotta be close to midnight.”

La Vie Boheme played and I mouthed the lyrics with it. It was even better with music.

They came back from intermission and played Seasons of Love (Everyone knows that song).

Things got hectic and 'Collins' was holding Zayn. His make-up made him look frail and he had black splotches on his face.

“Hot- Hot- Hot-Sweat- Sweet” The group sang. They were at the front of the stage and rolling around in beds, behind sheets that covered everyone. A figure rose and a spotlight hit him. Zayn.

“Take me, Take me, Today for you, Tomorrow for me, Today me, Tomorrow you, Tomorrow you, Love  
you, Love you, I love you, I love you! Take me, Take me, I love you” He dropped backwards with his arms spread and I took a deep breath. Liam's hand was squeezing the armrest.

Louis and 'Roger' sang to each other.

“Hey, for somebody who's always been let down, Who's heading out of town?” Louis sang.

“For someone who longs for a community of his own, Who's with his camera, alone?” 'Roger' said back.

The play ended with Them bringing in Perrie, who looked like she was dying. They sang their last song and the curtain closed. It opened again and they took their bows. I cheered and whistled along with Liam this time.

The theater cleared out and I saw a stand selling roses. I bought three roses and headed back stage with Liam who bought a whole dozen.

“Which way is backstage?” Liam asked and I pointed towards an empty corridor.

“Over there, but we're not allowed to go back there. We can wait for them here.” I said. Liam grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the corridor. He sure had a penchant for throwing people around. We snuck into the backstage area and everyone was there, talking loudly. Liam charged ahead and grabbed Zayn. He lifted Zayn up and kissed him. His arms were around his waist and Zayn's hands were around his neck. A gasp went up in the room. Liam dropped Zayn back to his feet.

“I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I will never hurt you again. I can't imagine anything to happen to you.” Liam said his hands strong on Zayn's face.

“Liam, everyone is watching.” Zayn whispered.

“I don't care. I love you and I don't care who sees. I can't hide you anymore.” Liam said and Perrie sighed.

“Aww! I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel has.” She quoted and Eleanor swatted at her. The guy who played Roger wrapped his arm tight around her. He nuzzled her into his side and she looked up in surprise, the look on the face was like 'Oh, maybe I do have that'.

Everyone was running around all choked up. I found Louis.

“Um, I have something for you. Sorry it's not a dozen. The other two are for Zayn and Perrie. Although, I'm sure Zayn has enough. Sorry. I'm rambling.” Louis took the rose and smiled at me.

“Wow, thanks Harry. This is so nice.” Louis said.

“No problem. You were amazing out there.” I said looking down. I was pushed as Eleanor ran up. She hugged Louis.

“We did it! We pulled off RENT!” She jumped on him and kissed him and I excused myself.

 


	6. Parties aren't my thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter! Thank you for all the support!

I sat in the back of Zayn's car as him and Liam sat in the front. Liam's hand was wrapped around Zayn's as it sat on the armrest and they whispered back and forth.

 

By the time we got to the house, the party was in full swing. There were people everywhere. It was crazy. As I walked in I was pushed around and bumped into. People were spilling drinks on me and I realized that maybe the party scene wasn't for me. After a crazy amount of time looking for anyone I knew, I finally found an unoccupied room (after a many awkward moment of finding a couple socializing). I sat on the bed in the room feeling a little weird knowing someone slept here. It was dark and quiet and I was alone. I began to relax, not even realizing that I had been close to hyperventilating.

The door busted open and I bolted up from the bed.

“Sorry, I-” I began.

“Harry?” Louis asked as he stepped into the room.

“Louis, what are you doing in here?” I asked.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Louis said and sat down on the bed. After a second, I sat down next to him.

“Um, Parties aren't really my thing.” I said awkwardly staring up at my hands.

“I figured. I uh- I didn't really feel like hanging around with a bunch of drunk people, and El wanted to stay. So, here I am.” He said. It was silent for a moment.

“Oh, Thanks for the rose. I know I already said that, but I really appreciate it.” Louis said and shifted his body toward me on the bed.

“Really, it was fine. You deserve it. You did a great job. I was so drawn in by your character. You were perfect. I am definitely coming back to see it. Every night.” I said and then blushed at how eager I sounded. “The other night, when I came to dinner with you guys, it was the first time that I felt like I was a part of something. So thank you. Thank you for making me feel like I belong.”

His hand gripped mine.

“Hazza, you are too wonderful.” He said quietly.

“Can I- Can I tell you something?” I asked and he nodded. “I feel like Mark. A lot. I think I'm a lot like him. I feel like I'm not exactly an equal participant in life. Like I'm always on the sideline watching. Just watching all of my friends move on and be so happy. I'm not happy like them.” I said and then quickly closed my mouth. Louis was definitely not on the level of friendship in which we divulged these kind of secrets.

“Can I tell you something, Harry?” He asked.

“Yeah, of course.” I said.

“Not everyone is as happy as they seem.” He stood up and let go of my hand. “I should go find El.”

He walked to the door and I put my head in my hands. I was alone and like always, I didn't want to be.

I got up and walked downstairs. I could see Louis with his arms wrapped around Eleanor, who looked almost fall down drunk. In the middle of the floor was Liam and Zayn. They were openly dancing together. Zayn had the biggest smile on his face. He was stumbling a bit, but Liam was fine. I didn't know him to drink much, something about a kidney. They were fine. They didn't need me. I walked through the door without anyone notices. 

The night was crisp as I walked home. As I walked, I kept thinking of what Louis said.

_Not everyone is as happy as they seem_

He was right. Not everyone was happy. Everyone, when they noticed me, thought I was so happy. I just wanted to be wanted. Is that so bad? 

I walked by a stream that ran near the campus. If I just stepped in. Would anyone notice?

I finally made it home and laid in my bed. I pulled out my journal. 

'Why am I the witness and when I capture it on film, will it mean that its the end, and I'm alone?'

I wrote about RENT and Mark. And Louis. So much Louis. 

 

I went back every night that week and bought Louis a rose each night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank everyone for leaving all of the comments and Kudos. It means so much! Please keep doing that!


	7. Don't leave me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New update! PS. bit of a trigger warning!

I was writing in my journal on the courtyard and I fell asleep. I should really get that checked out. I fell asleep everywhere. I felt something hit me in the head.

“Ow!” I complained as I jolted awake.

“Ooh, Harry, I'm so sorry!” Louis said. He kicked the ball back to the players and waved them on to continue their game.

“You know, I'm starting to feel like you are using me as target practice.” I grouched and rubbed my head.

“Wow, I thought your voice was deep. This is a whole 'nother level. Sleepy Deep voice is sexy.” Louis said and sat next to me. “Oh, whatcha writing?”

I grabbed my journal and tucked it into my lap.

“N-nothing. Just a journal.” I stuttered out.

“Oh. Okay. Can I have some of your water?” He asked and grabbed the bottle. His accent was so damn prominent. It was beautiful.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” Louis asked and I shook my head.

“No. I- nothing. How many times do you plan on hitting me with that football?” I asked changing the subject.

“Well, it's your fault. You're the one who sits there staring at me as I play. If you'd come to a game like a proper fan..” Louis trailed off and I smacked at his arm.

“No wonder Eleanor hits you so often. You're an arse.” I said.

“Did you just compare yourself to my girlfriend?” He asked and my face blanched.

“I- it's you- you know- wel- se- I-”

“It's okay, Haz. I get it. I'm irresistible. The heart wants what the heart wants.” He slung his arm over my shoulder and even though I knew he was joking, I snuggled in.

“It's your eyes. Blue like the ocean.” I replied without meaning to.

“What?” He asked.

“Nothing.” I said.

“No really, Haz. What did you say?” He repeated.

“I-I- I s-said, It's y-your eyes.” I said again and he just chuckled.

“So, you coming to one of my games?” He asked.

“O-of course.”

“Good. Tomorrow night. Be there.” He said and stood up. “I gotta go. But I'll text ya or something?”

He left and I sat and watched him run back to the game.

 

I stood by myself at the gate of the field. Zayn and Liam were with Liam's family. He had told his family that he was gay and that he was bringing Zayn down to meet them. It would be interesting to hear the details when they got back.

 

I found a seat by myself and waited for the game to begin. I was decked out in our school colors and I even had a kit on with Louis' name on the back. Of course that was under my jacket. It was freezing out here. There is no way that I could go without the jacket. I wrapped myself tighter in my scarf. I looked up toward the top of the bleachers, where Eleanor sat with a few other people. She gave me a small wave.

I tucked my hands deep into my pockets and waited for the game to begin. It was colder than it seemed to be moments beforehand. The players ran onto the field and my eyes immediately found Louis'. He was in his green and black kit and he was stretching and jumping around to warm his body up. He looked up to the stands and waved at me. I looked around to make sure it was really to me. I waved back after a second and he just shook his head while smiling to himself.

“Yeah! Louis!” I heard and Louis smiled and waved at Eleanor. He blew her a kiss and I sighed. She was honestly the luckiest girl in the world. The game began and I tried to focus. It was hard with Louis running around all cool like. Every move was languid and well calculated. He was a king out there. This is what all of those courtyard kicks had been working toward. If I thought he was good based on those few seconds in the yard, they were nothing compared to this. In that moment I saw just how perfect he was. He was so much more than just the star athlete. He was the drama star, the funny guy, the amazing and caring guy who I did not deserve. He was amazing.

I watched as Louis kicked a goal. The entire crowd rose and I jumped to my feet.

“Whooo!!! Yeah! Go Lou!” I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled. I leaned over the stands short wall and whistled with two of my fingers. I clapped maybe a little too enthusiastically. He smiled. He jogged back up the field and smacked some of the hands of his teammates. His caramel hair seemed to be lit up in the lights of the stadium. He flicked it back as he laughed. The game was going great and soon we were up 2-0. We had this in the bag. Well, they did. They were gonna win. I hadn't returned to my seat yet. As Louis ran down the field a guy kicked him in the back of the leg and he went down. He was jumped on by a couple of guys from the other team. The crowd let out a collective gasp and the stadium went silent. A scream pierced the air. My heart began to pound fast. Before I knew what I was doing, I jumped up and ran toward the field. I heard a voice yelling, “Move, move! Louis!” Eleanor was behind me. We reached Louis at the same time as they pulled him from the field. We stood on the sidelines. His left arm clutched his right and he was so pale. His arm was definitely not supposed to bend that way.

“Lou, are you okay?” I asked and he just groaned. I reached to grab his hand and was beat to it by Eleanor. She stood in front of me.

“Lou! Lou Bear. Are you okay?” She asked clutching his hand.

“Hurts like a bitch.” He wheezed out and I huffed out a relieved laugh.

“We need you two to clear the area.” The coach said as a paramedic grabbed the stretcher Lou was on.

“No. I can't!” Eleanor said and held on tighter.

“Just go. I'll be fine.” He said to Eleanor, but his eyes stayed on me.

“Fine. I'll meet you at the hospital.” Eleanor said as they wheeled him away. She began to walk away.

“Wait! Eleanor. Would you mind if I rode along to see Louis?” I asked and she turned back to me.

“Well, Louis really needs his girlfriend, Harry. That's me. Kay? I've got this covered. You aren't needed here. So just stop hanging all over him.” She said and I took a deep breath.

“I'm his friend too, Eleanor.” I said back.

“Are you though, Harry?” She asked and I looked at the ground. Part of me wanted to say yes, but another part of me knew that that wasn't necessarily true. I was more of an acquaintance. Maybe a charity case that he took pity on.

“That's what I thought. Just leave us alone.” She said. She turned and walked away hurrying to her car. The game resumed as I stood there in front of the bleachers. I thought it was cold before, but nothing compared to this. I finally decided to leave. There was nothing for me to stay for. I left the gate and unlocked my bike from one of the racks in front of the stadium. I got on my bike and rode back to my empty flat. The door shut behind me and I was alone.

 

 

“Daddy, Daddy Please!” I begged as I stood at the door.

“Go, on! Leave! That's all you are ever good for!” My mom yelled and threw a vase at him. I was crying and Gemma was holding my arms. I struggled to get free.

“Daddy! Please!” I yelled. I pulled away from her as my dad closed the door behind him. I pushed the door open and ran after him. I ran to him and grabbed his legs.

“Please don't go.” I cried into his pants.

“Harry stop!” He said trying to pull me loose.

“Daddy, take me with you.” I begged.

“Harry, I don't-” He began.

“I won't be much trouble. I can look after myself, I promise. I won't bother you at all.” I pleaded.

“Harry, I don't want you with me.” He said firmly. He pushed me away and I fell to the ground. I sat and watched as he climbed into his car. He drove and left me sitting on the pavement. He never looked back.

 

My wrists were raw and there were dried tear tracks on my face. I had kind of blacked out. I don't really remember how long I had been there, but when I came to, I had gauze all the way up to my elbows. It was stained red with blood, but I couldn't be bothered to care too much about it. Zayn was sitting with my head in his lap. He was pulling his fingers through my hair as Liam stood at the door. I blinked up at him in confusion.

“What happened?” I asked and he laid his head on mine and breathed out what sounded like a sigh of relief and a sob mixed into one.

“Oh, Haz, I was gonna ask you the same thing.” He said. “Did someone hurt you?”

“What?” I asked.

“Harry, whoever did it, I swear they won't make it to another day.” Liam said dangerously. I shook my head.

“Nothing happened.” I said and Zayn grabbed one of my bandaged arms.

“Do you care to explain this?” He asked.

“I don't know what happened.” I said.

“Harry, I came in here and you were laying on the floor crying and digging into your arms. You were saying 'Don't leave me.' Harry, something happened.” Zayn said.

“Don't worry, Zayn. I'm fine.” Zayn shook his head but didn't say anything else.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think? I hope this doesn't just look like an out of the blue problem. Hopefully it's been building towards this...


	8. Not like you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for the update! But here it is!

I rode my bike to school again the next day. I walked into the student union and headed into the coffee shop. My arms were still bandaged and it was a hard to hide them under long sleeved shirts without the gauze slipping, so I was wearing a t- shirt. I grabbed some coffee after receiving weird looks from everyone there. I finally got back to my bike and started to unchain it.

“Harry! Hazza!” I heard from behind me. I knew it was Louis. I'd know that voice anywhere. I hopped on my bike and peeled out of there before he could catch up with me. I ignored all of the messages he sent me. Eleanor was right, I needed to let him go. He didn't want me. He was probably just trying to tell me that.

 

I had went two weeks without talking to him. He figured out that I had gotten the message and he stopped trying to talk to me. Zayn and Liam were spending a lot more time together and Zayn had been staying at Liam's more often. Liam's family had taken the news of Liam being gay pretty well. Minus his dad. They had a big fight and Liam gave him an ultimatum, either a gay son, or no son at all. He eventually came around, after a fist fight of course, but they had been fine after that. Him and Zayn were never apart though, two peas in a pod, day and night.

 

Every night, the scratches got a little deeper, but I didn't tell Zayn that.

 

I got a phone call from a number I had never seen. I debated answering it before I finally hit the green answer button.

“'Lo?” I asked.

“Can you meet me outside of the commons area?” Louis asked and I took a deep breath.

“I don't know. I'm pretty busy.” I said.

“Please. Just come.” Louis said and I found myself nodding.

“S-sure.” I said and the line went dead. I got on my bike and headed out into the night, It was freezing. The wind blew toward me. I stopped my bike outside of the grassy area outside of the student union.

Louis stood in the middle of the field kicking the ball back and forth to himself. Louis turned toward me, and no, no I was not ready to see him. His arm was in a cast and it rested against his chest. He kicked the ball toward me and I returned it. We passed it back and forth for a little while.

“What are you doing out here?” I finally asked

“Why have you been avoiding me?” He asked. I didn't answer and he took a deep breath.

“And what happened to your arms?”

“Look, I didn't come out here to be interrogated.” I said and turned back around. I headed toward my bike.

“Eleanor dumped me.” He said and I turned towards him.

“What?” I asked and he nodded. I stepped closer to him. His voice sounded so, so numbed. Like he didn't care. 

“Yeah, she said I was a bit too melancholy over you not talking to me. Said I didn't love her.” He said and I wrapped him in a hug before I knew what I was doing. He was so small and solid. There. 

“And yeah, she was right. I didn't. Not like, not like you.” He said and I stared down at him. He pushed himself up on his toes and his lips met mine. I was still for a moment not sure of what to do. Finally I pushed him back.

“No, no don't do this.” I said.

“Harry, what are you-” He began.

“Don't you fucking dare! Don't you pretend that you want me. Don't! I can't fucking take that. Don't play with me like that.”

“Harry-”

“No! Don't act like I'm good enough, okay? I fucking know who I am! I don't want to have to see two days from now, how big of a joke it all really was as you laugh with your friends. I don't want you to suddenly decide that you are done with me and then I'm alone. Again. And you left and everyone leaves! Everyone fucking leaves me alone and I am no one and nowhere and nobody wants me and I am lost. I am fucking lost! I don't want to be left alone again, okay. I don't want you to leave me, again. So you can just stop now!” I yelled at him. Tears were slipping down my face.

“No! You stop it, Harry! I'm not gonna fucking leave you! I never left. You left me. You abandoned me and all I wanted was you. Since the day we fucking met! I wanted you. But you just closed yourself off, and you left me! Don't fucking forget that. I needed you.” He said and I stared at him in surprise.

“Why did you stop? Why did you stop trying?” I asked quietly. “Why did you let me go away?”

“I thought you hated me. I thought that since I was no longer the star player or whatever, that you didn't want to see me anymore. I'm broken.” He said.

“God, you're such an idiot.” I said.

“So are you.” He answered and I let out a laugh and wiped the tears from my face. He stepped closer to me. He grabbed one of my arms.

“What happened?” He asked. I looked down at where our hands touched.

“I can't be alone.” I whispered. He didn't ask anything else. His slid his hand down my arm until our fingers were intertwined.

“I won't let you be.” He said. He leaned forward and kissed me again. I pulled him close and held on tightly.

 

~~~

 

“Come on, Hazza! We're all waiting on you!” Zayn said. Louis tried to fixed my tie with his still broken arm and I smiled at him.

“You look perfect.” I looked down. I couldn't believe that this was actually my life. 

“Not like you, though.” I said. He leaned up and softly gripped my face with his working arm.

“Well, we can't all be me...” He said with so much sincerity and I laughed. 

“I don't even know what I expected you to say.” I said and shook my head. He lifted up on his toes and kissed my cheek.

“Come on, Lovebirds!” Zayn yelled from the door. Liam wrapped an arm around Zayn's waist and laid his head on his shoulder.

“Remember when we were that new and in love?” Liam sighed and Zayn turned his head toward him.

“Are you implying that we aren't that in love anymore?” He asked and raised an eyebrow.

“Of course not. I love you more everyday.” He said and pecked Zayn on the lips.

“Good answer.” Zayn said.

“Come on.” Louis said as he grabbed my hand. 

We stood outside of the large art gallery. The time was here. We walked in and Zayn lifted his arms.

“Voila! What do you think?” He asked looking at us. I could vaguely hear the boys giving their opinion, but I was transfixed. The pieces were of us in different forms. There was a painting of Liam's back and it looked as if every muscles were tense, scratches and scars littered the taut skin. There was another of Louis with a beanie on his head laughing. It looked like he was in his theater class. Then, there was me. So many of me. There was one from earlier in the semester when I sat on the commons. It was my profile and I had on that flower crown. The flowers were orange and yellow and the green stems twined through my curls. There was another of me lying on the ground in the park outside of our apartment. I was laying between two trees. The last painting I saw of me sitting at the table in our flat. My arms were bandaged up to the elbow and I looked so broken.

“Haz?” Zayn asked timidly and I turned toward him.

“Me?” I asked motioning toward the pictures. 

“Yeah, you. I hope that's okay. I know I should have asked your permission-”

“Why me?” I asked and he gave me this incredulous look.

“Harry, you are one of the most significant people in my life. I had no choice but to paint you. I love you, kid.”

“You love me?” I asked and he rolled his eyes with a fond smile on his face.

“Of course I love you, you little bugger.” He pulled me into a hug and I could feel my eyes leaving little wet spots on his shoulder.

I pulled away and Liam clapped his hand on my shoulder. He just shook his head and took a step back. Louis stepped up next to me and leaned against me side. 

“I like this one.” He pointed at the flower crown painting.

“Me too.” I answered.

“What were you looking at? Do you remember? Because, I mean, the look on your face is like you just saw the sun rise for the first time.” He said.

“You. I was looking at you.” I said and he looked up at me.

“That's the day we met, when I knocked over your coffee. Isn't it?”

“Yeah. I mean, this was while you were playing, I think.” I responded. He leaned more into me and I wrapped my arms around him.

“I have a confession to make.” He whispered.

“What?”

“I was aiming for you. I said that Niall kicked it at you, but it was actually me. I was always aiming for you.” He said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because, no one as wonderful as you deserves to be alone.” He said and I kissed the top of his head.

“Well, I'm not anymore.” I replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, It's so bittersweet. Boo! Hiss! I hope you guys liked it! Let me know what you think and I 'm sorry if the ending was bad...

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, and if I should continue it!


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